The Rooms in My Head Part 2:

The Rooms in My Head Part 2:

It’s time for some fun! If you read Part 1 about the room in my head where I go when I need deep healing and relaxation. You’ll remember that, while that room was made to be the perfect mental health mini-vacay, it
also came with structured rules and can feel a bit serious in its energy.

The room I am writing about today is different. I simply call it my “Anger Room” and it has absolutely no rules what so ever. No pesky societal norms to conform to, no drawn-out meditations to do, no syllabus to follow, in
fact, there is no thinking involved!

It’s a no holds barred, anything goes, F**k it kind of room. A place to let out a primal expression of all the ways life can be overwhelmingly frustrating as a human.

I’d love to say that I am an advanced enough soul to tell  you that all I need is one blissful relaxation room to achieve inner peace, but that would be a big fat lie.

The truth is, I have carried around a substantial amount of anger my entire life. Like a lot of us, as children were taught to stuff that crap down or sweep it under the rug. Anything but let it out!

To have this cerebral space as an outlet to transmute my feelings of anger and rage has been an even more cathartic experience for me than my ultra-luxurious healing sanctuary.

I love my Anger Room so much. It really works for me. It’s so amazing how much you can release just by using a process called active imagination.

The room I chose to create for this ongoing event, is a wine cellar. I don’t know why I chose this, but I did. Maybe because it’s private? Idk, who knows, I’m more of a beer girl anyway.

It’s a cellar so it has no windows, thick brick walls, and a cement floor. In the room are several rows of high wooden shelves fully stocked with hundreds of bottles of Red Wine.

I don’t use a door to enter my room. I just arrive there. No sense in wasting time when you’re pissed!

Now down to the nitty gritty. As you may have assumed, these bottles of wine are not for drinking, they’re for smashing! They are for mentally smashing out all that pent up anger, rage, confusion, frustration, resentment, disappointment and bitterness we tend to collect and squirrel away as time goes by.

The feeling I get from grabbing one of these bottles of Cabernet or Merlot off the shelf, raising it above my head, and hurtling it down towards to concrete floor to see it explode at my feet, is amazing! The best part of this mental exercise is that there is nothing to clean up! I’m totally impervious to the flying shards of sharp green glass and dark red liquid splattered like a bloody crime scene all over the floor.

Every experience I have in my Anger Room is different. On a light day I may pop in quickly to smash a bottle or two. Other times I’m in there for a long while smashing all the bottles. And then other times I step it up a notch and smash bottles that are 3 feet tall. It’s incredibly satisfying.

I’ve had this room for many years and can remember one time where I really lit it up to where I even surprised myself with how much I was holding on to. I went in and just tried to smash a couple bottles, but that wasn’t doing it for me. So, I manifested a baseball bat and started to swing away, like Babe Ruth, at all the bottles on the shelves. But even that wasn’t enough. So, once I smashed all the bottles, I somehow had the strength to push down all the shelves in the room which fell dominos against the brick wall. In the end, I didn’t feel fully satisfied until I burned the whole damn building to the ground that day!

For the most part I get a rush from smashing wine bottles. Sometimes I imagine that they are $10,000 bottles of fancy Italian wine. But every now and then I strangely switch it up to floral printed ceramic tea pots that I smash. Again, I have no idea where this comes from, I just go with it. The possibilities are truly endless in the rooms you can imagine in your head.

Both my Healing Room and my Anger Room are real places to me now. I’m so grateful to have created these safe spaces to transmute what is always just and energetic experience in one form or the other.

I have always been aware of my anger, but never wanted to project it on any other person. These rooms have helped me to navigate the complexities of this human experience while keeping my integrity intact. I highly recommend both of these exercises as a way to help yourself through tough situations. At the end of the day, the drum I beat is for personal accountability. And this is just one tool I use to achieve that.